Preparing to come home!

Dear friends and family,

I am in the mental process right now of preparing for the end of my trip. I feel like a lot of my time these days is spent reflecting on my experience. My global learning term (GLT) has been NOTHING of what I expected. I expected the "picture perfect" GLT...going to another country, feeling like I belong and fit in, working for an amazing organization where I was able to have hands on experiences with the poor, loving them and caring for them. I expected to have so many pictures and amazing life changing stories to tell people. But I came here and reality hit me. I was EXTREMELY lonely and had a hard time at the beginning of my trip, then I started to adjust and get use to life but became overwhelmed by the poor and poverty I saw, I also became overwhelmed by city life. Then I started working at an organization where I thought I would be involved with the poor- talking with them, crying with them, laughing with them...but instead I spent most of my time in the office, writing reports and editing papers. I then found out that the organization I was working for was corrupt. I soon realized that I didn't agree with a lot that was going on. My world crashed when I saw the struggles and pain of the clients that the organization was working for. I can't get into too much detail here but it was hard to see. I felt powerless to do anything about it and right now I feel very discouraged and hopeless.

This GLT hasn't turned out how I thought it would. I have seen intense pain, hurt, and corruption, I have felt lonely, powerless, and discouraged. It's interesting because I have realized that what I have experienced is most people's everyday reality. So many people in this world feel lonely, powerless, and discouraged most of the time. So many people live in poverty and pain. And those people can't just pick up their stuff and go back to a comfortable life with loving family and friends. So even though I don't feel like I have experienced the "perfect" GLT-I don't have the stories of seeing lives transformed, or holding a mother in her last moments before the AIDS took her life, or seeing a street child come off the streets into a loving home. I don't have stories of hope. I have stories of pain and desperation-I do feel like I have experienced real life. After awhile of being here it soon just became my life. I don't feel like I'm living in another country most of the time. It's hard to explain, but it doesn't feel like a one month mission trip where you go, are so taken with the people and culture, help some people, have your eyes opened, and then come home. It feels like I came here to live...make friends...work...and just be. I feel like I'm just going through daily struggles, talking with people, experiencing/seeing the pain and suffering around me. I have realized that I came all the way across the world to experience life. I know this isn't the most encouraging message. I know that there is hope in this world. There are organizations that haven't allowed money to get in the way of doing good and helping people. I know there are people out there fighting injustice and seeking to make this world a better place. But the other side of life is full of pain and suffering...and it is important to open ones eyes to that side too. It's important to hurt, it's important to cry, it's important to realize the realities in this world. So even though I'm frustrated, broken, extremely tired, and ready to come home, I have to believe that God will still use this experience to stir in me even more passion to DO something. I expected this to be my time to DO something, but it has turned out to be my time to just live and observe.

Anyways, I don't know if this is really making sense. But I do want to say that being here has made me realize that I have taken a lot for granted. I miss my friends and family so much. I am looking forward to being home again with everyone.

Thank you so so much for your continued support and prayers. I still have a little bit more to go...right now I'm working on language AND my huge research project...along with my other little daily assignments. Pray for strength and stamina for Amber and me as we finish up. Also pray that in these last weeks God will bring pockets of joy into our lives. It can be pretty discouraging and hard at times but I'm still seeking to find God in everything and allowing Him to move through me.

Thank you again for your love and support, Dana

p.s. Amber and I were woken up at 7:00 am this morning to my host mom and little sisters running in our room screaming- "Obama is President!!" It was a great way to wake up. Amber and I just started crying for joy right then. This is a day to remember for sure. It has been interesting to experience it all the way across the world. These elections have really impacted not only the U.S. but the rest of the world as well. I know that some of you are disappointed and some are rejoicing. I want you to know that even if you aren't happy about Obama being president SO many people all over the world are impacted and touched by the fact that he is now president. Our host dad was saying that the rest of the world looks to the U.S. as a role model, and today he is very proud of America. It is a big deal and people all over the world have a lot of hope for Obama.